When Kurt met Jane
by A11y50n
Summary: AU How Kurt could have met Jane.


**A/N: This idea came to me and it may turn into a series of one shots.**

When Kurt met Jane

"One chicken sub extra cheese, two Italian meatballs one extra spicy and the other with extra sauce and one vegetarian surprise, four no three sodas one diet and a tropical juice and 4 packets of chips please." Said Kurt

"Coming right up!"

Today was the day, today was the day he was going to finally ask her out on a date. He was a FBI agent for goodness sake, he chased criminals, he faced terrorists but for some reason he couldn't ask out the woman behind the counter. He almost asked Patterson to do a background check on her just in case she was married or with someone, that would be embarrassing if she was and he asked her out, he'd never be able to come in her again and get lunch. He didn't care if his team would starve, he was not going to come back in if she turned him down but having Patterson check into a potential partner seemed a little over the top plus if Patterson knew then that meant Zapata and Sarah would know within minutes, something that he dreaded. He just had to get a few words out. He was usually a confident person but ever since he saw her he found it hard to string a few words together so he came off as a moron.

"Is there anything else I can get you?"

Kurt shook his head and saw that his order was ready and it seemed as if she was talking to him but he didn't hear what she said, she had that patient smile on her face, he felt his face going red.

"Thanks." He muttered

Not only did he not ask her out when he turned around the queue was so long it was at the door and he felt his face flame again. He quickly paid for lunch and left without getting his change.

Jane watched the cute guy leave with his order and watched as he shook his head and muttered to himself as he left. He really was cute but it was totally unprofessional to ask a customer out.

Days turned into weeks which turned into months and Kurt still hadn't asked the one question he really wanted to.

 _It was just by chance that he got to see Jane, he read her name tag. Patterson was neck deep in something to do with her babies and couldn't leave her computers for five seconds let alone ten minutes, Zapata was 'crampy' today and didn't really want to go out if someone else could, to be fair she only told them she was 'crampy' when she was in a bad way but not too bad to take the day off and she did her own share of lunch runs and coffee runs without a word of complaint then Reade was in a meeting so that left him. He remembered walking in to the place with everyone's orders in his mind, he didn't need to write anything down even though he saw the sceptical look on Patterson's and Zapata's faces so he deliberately didn't write anything down just to prove that his mind was fine plus he knew that Reade had his back and would text him the list. They had to stick together. He walked in, he knew the list, he didn't need to check the list from Reade, he was feeling quite smug then it was his turn and he came face to face with those gorgeous green eyes. He didn't know how long he stood there mesmerized but it must have been a while because then the absolutely stunning woman behind the counter started talking to him in different languages, she must have thought he was a tourist and didn't know any English, he was mortified. He tried to speak but no words would come out plus he couldn't remember the order, not even his own let alone the others in the team, then he remembered his cell and quickly took it out and looked for Reade's text, found it and showed it to the green eyes. Green eyes took the cell and wrote the order down and handed the cell back._

" _Ok, it will be about five minutes!"_

 _Kurt could only nod._

 _When the order came he paid and started to leave but was called back._

" _Excuse me! I think you forgot something."_

 _He turned around with a puzzled look and the goddess behind the counter was holding his order. He closed his eyes, could anything else go wrong he thought, and then went back for the order, his vocal cords still not working so he just nodded in her direction and left quickly._

From then on he went to get their lunch but he couldn't be obvious about it, he worked for the FBI for goodness sake so the people he worked with were observant let alone his team specifically Patterson and Zapata who were like extra annoying little sisters. So he tried to be casual about it. He thought he was doing a good job of it until months after his initial meeting of Jane when the whole team wanted to go out for lunch, they had the time for once, they had just closed a case including all the time consuming paperwork and thought they deserved a treat so on masse they walked to the sandwich place, Patterson was in front followed by Reade then Zapata and Kurt bringing up the rear. As soon as Kurt entered the place he froze as he heard Zapata.

"Is that the one Kurt has the hots for? She is hot! Hey boss you have good taste!"

Zapata didn't know what whispering was so always talked in her normal voice, which was naturally louder than anyone else's. Kurt blushed, Jane was looking in their direction, thankfully they missed the lunch crowd but Kurt still wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Patterson and Reade had the same look of horror on their face as he had. Patterson turned around.

"Zapata!" Patterson whispered

"What? C'mon, he's been pining for her for ages! What did you think he all of a sudden wanted to get lunch for us? Really? He's smitten and I'm fed up at looking at the kicked puppy look every time he comes back with our lunch because it means he chickened out and didn't ask her out." Zapata turned to Kurt who was still frozen and hoping this was all a nightmare that he would wake up from soon but no he was not that lucky. "Hey boss, don't worry I'll ask her out for you!"

He watched in horror as Zapata turned towards Jane and began to speak.

"Hey, would you like to…" began Zapata

Kurt's training came to the forefront and he was in survival mode, he had to evade the dangerous situation that Zapata was going to land him in so he did the only thing he could he picked Zapata up and threw her over his shoulder and walked out of the place. Everything happened so fast that Zapata stopped talking but she recovered outside and she was very very loud at being manhandled and he knew he would pay for it later but that seemed the lesser of the two evils at that point.

"HEY, I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT! PUT ME DOWN!" screamed Zapata

Reade quickly followed them out. Patterson stood facing Jane not knowing what to do; she was so embarrassed that she blushed on behalf of Kurt.

"Er she has turret's, she doesn't know what she's saying, BYE!" said Patterson before she scurried out after her team.

Thankfully they were swamped with case after case, they were lucky if they even ate during the day as they were so busy. It was over a month before they had the luxury of getting lunch.

"Man up Weller! That's the best sandwich place and I'm not giving it up because you're too chicken to ask her out!"

"I'm not asking you to give it up!" declared Kurt

"You're the only one that can go and get our lunch, I've been craving an Italian meatball sandwich for ages, don't make me get something from the cafeteria because I will do you some serious damage if you do."

"You could go!"

"I could and I don't mind but you know if I go I will give her your number and ask her out for you, do you want that?"

Kurt stared at her then his shoulders slumped and she knew she had him.

"I hate you!"

"Oh please you love me!" declared Zapata

She watched as he left the floor.

Patterson and Reade appeared asking for Kurt.

"He's gone to get our lunch!"

"He willingly went back?" asked an incredulous Patterson who blushed when she remembered what happened last time.

"Well, it was either him or me…" Zapata shrugged

Reade and Patterson exchanged a look of horror and really felt for Kurt right at that moment.

"Hey, Patterson do you think you could hack into the cctv of the sandwich place?" asked Zapata

"NO!"

"Oh c'mon, it would be great to see Weller's A-game!"

"NO!"

"Spoilsport!"

Kurt took a deep breath as he pushed open the door and headed for the counter; he saw a different person behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. He felt a bit more confident now, he bent to look at his cell and when he looked up he saw the person leaving and Jane coming. Great, he thought, well he may as well get it over with, maybe she didn't even remember the most embarrassing moment of his life, he could hope right? Before he could even give his order she had a tablet in her hand and was showing it to him.

"I'm sorry but I've lost my voice. Can I have your order please?"

Kurt handed her his cell and she took his order. He was the only one in the queue. His order was ready in a few minutes but while he was waiting Jane wanted to ask him some questions as part of a survey.

"I'm sorry, but the boss wants to find out what our customers want. If it is ok can I ask you some questions?" Kurt read on her tablet.

Kurt nodded his head. Jane handed him her tablet and he began the survey.

It was standard stuff, how often did he eat at or get take out from the place? How was the service? What could they improve? Are there any sandwiches that he would like to be added to the menu?

His order was ready, he paid but he was still finishing the survey when the last question came up and he stood still.

"Will you go out with me?" there was two answer options 'Yes' or 'No'. Kurt thought that he was seeing things, he looked up to see Jane watching and waiting, she was biting her lip and that calmed him down as she was as nervous as he was. He gave her the tablet back and now she had the confused look on her face as he hadn't answered her question then he leaned over and touched the 'Yes' option. Jane smiled and he swore that her eyes sparkled, she looked down when their eyes met as did he, and they both blushed.

"Ok, so when will we go out?" Jane asked without the aid of the tablet

"Tomorrow?"

"Seven?"

"Sounds good!"

"I can't wait for tomorrow Kurt!"

Kurt had a puzzled look on his face until Jane showed him her cell. There was a message from Zapata and it was a photo of him and with reasons why she should go out with him. He closed his eyes and wished for the ground to open up but it didn't, when he opened his eyes he saw the amusement in hers.

"Do you have younger sisters?" Kurt asked

"No but I have a younger brother."

"You're lucky. I'll trade you my three sisters for your brother!"

Jane was trying and failed to keep a straight face.

"It's ok, I think I'll keep him anyway you love them really…"

"Yeah, yeah, more fool me! I still think being an only child must be nice!"

"Hmmmm, I'm not sure."

"I suppose they're ok but don't tell them that I told you that. So tomorrow at seven then?"

"Yep! Tomorrow at seven!"

Kurt smiled and turned to leave only to be called back when he reached the door.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned back and saw Jane holding his order; he dropped his chin to his chest then walked towards Jane and took his order.

"I'm not usually so moronic!"

"I like what I've seen so far!"

Kurt smiled shyly at her and she returned one of her own. She watched as he left, they both still had wide smiles on their faces.


End file.
